Your thoughts determine your beliefs which create emotions which guide your actions.
When you are in a place of fear, overwhelm, hopelessness or pessimism, every choice you try to make or action you try to take will be colored by that negative emotion. (confused? Go back and read this blog)
I have this saying when I am discussing breastfeeding with pregnant women— PLAN to breastfeed. Don’t TRY to breastfeed.
It seems like a simple matter of semantics, but it is not. It is a simple matter of mindset. If you plan to breastfeed, you are making a choice from a place of faith and optimism. Breastfeeding will be successful, therefore all the actions I take are from a place of utmost belief that 3, 6, 12 months from now I will be breastfeeding.
- I will invest in a prenatal breastfeeding class
- I will identify which lactation consultant I will work with postpartum
- I will purchase the breastfeeding pillow (My Brest Friend), not the all purpose pillow (Boppy)
- I will purchase the highest quality breastpump and all the accessories.
By making the choice to PLAN to breastfeed, you are telling the universe, your partner, your family and most importantly yourself, “I’M ALL IN.”
Contrast this to the woman who says “I am going to TRY to breastfeed.” She is making a half hearted decision from a place of pessimism, lack and skepticism. She has one foot in and one foot out of her decision. She makes all of her decisions with the belief that there is equal chance she will or won’t be breastfeeding at 3, 6, 12 months.
- I will just ask for breastfeeding help in the hospital if I need it, but I don’t want to spend the money on a class prenatally.
- I know there are people around to help me breastfeed in the hospital, so I won’t worry about meeting any of them ahead of time.
- I will get the Boppy pillow because if breastfeeding doesn’t work out, it can be used to help sit a baby up or do tummy time.
- I will wait to get a breastpump because I don’t want to waste my money.
By not fully committing to breastfeeding, you are sending the universe, your partner and most importantly yourself mixed messages.
You are essentially giving yourself permission to quit if breastfeeding gets hard with as little guilt or responsibility as possible.
You can apply this theory to anything and everything challenging in life. Marriage, college, weight loss, changing careers.
First, you must get your thoughts in check. Thought often enough these thoughts become your beliefs. With the belief in place, your emotions are generated. In that emotion, you make a choice and take action.
Sounds easy? It is NOT. It is SO easy to slip into the “right side” of thinking and feeling. It is so simple to let your emotions dictate your actions without you even realizing it.
You MUST take control of your thoughts in order to take control of your emotions. Once you have control of your emotions, then ACT.
So, how do you get to the happy place? How do you get to a place where you BELIEVE so that you can make convicted, committed choices?
- Walking in nature
- Snuggling your baby
- Talking with a trusted friend who “gets it?”
Want to know how I do it? Let me give you a personal example that isn’t directly related to breastfeeding.
When I travel into the negative, I most often find myself in a state of overwhelm, particularly when it comes to this business. My mind swirls with all the things I need to do, all the unanswered emails, incomplete charts, classes I have yet to launch and I have been dying to launch. I think about how I am not present enough to my husband, my daughter or myself. I chide myself for not taking better care of me, not eating well enough, not exercising.
Even as I sit here writing this, I feel really yucky. My heart is beating faster. I just feel…low. Hopeless. Frustrated. This is not a good place for me to work from. I can’t write good blogs, I can’t get anything completed. Nothing I create is good enough. When I realize I am in this place, there are a few ways I know I can almost always get myself out. I know in order to stop and reverse my wild, out of control down spiral of emotion, I must move from overwhelm to passion. If I focus on my passion and my purpose, my creative energy is limitless.
Here is how I remember my passion:
- Snuggle/smell a fat baby.
- Sit in support group with amazing breastfeeding mamas.
- Sing really loud to one of the following songs: “I was here” Beyonce, “Titanium” David Guetta (feat. Sia), “Cant Hold Us” Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis, “Am I Wrong” Nico & Vinz
All it takes is a reminder that THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME. It is not about me, it has never been about me and it will never be about me. I was put on this Earth on purpose, with a purpose and for a purpose. It is my duty to carry out that purpose, even when it gets really hard. In order to do that, I must be my best self. In order to be my best self, I need to stay in a place of passion, positive expectation and faith.