Katie's Life

Lucy Graduates 8th Grade

Dear Lucy,

The feeling I have in my chest today is a feeling I recognize. I have felt it so many times in your life.

I felt it the first time I picked you up out of my body.

It feels like a crushing pressure that creeps into my throat and threatens to asphyxiate me.

The tightness is a reminder of how hard I’ve been holding on to this last stage of our lives. The realization that it is time to let go makes me tighten even more with resistance. It becomes more suffocating. I’m choking.

This is the cusp of a new age.

When I acknowledge the knowing that the time has come to let go. The heartbreaking awareness that I must let go of what was so that I may make space for what’s next.

I felt it when you walked. I felt it when you weaned. When you waved goodbye from your Montessori classroom. When you stepped on the school bus. When you started closing your door. When you stopped asking to sleep with me. When you declared who you are. When you cut off your hair. When you took ownership of your own success. When you leaned into your talents. When you took responsibility for your learning.

When you graduated today from the 8th grade at @ursulineacademyde

The pressure feels more urgent. Time is running out. Letting go feels harder the older you get.

And yet.

I am committed to letting go. Because you’re ready and because it hurts too much to hold on this tight. The greatest gift I can give you is to keep letting go so that I may show you with my actions, my words, and my love, just how ready you are.

My experience tells me that the more space I give you, the more space you fill up with your radiant light and talent.

I promise to keep giving you more and more space. Just remember, there is plenty of space for everyone.

Love,
Mom

Leave a Reply