Discover the Gentlest and Most Effective Way to Change your Breastfeeding Relationship
- Do you ever feel frustrated with your breastfeeding relationship?
- Does your infant or toddler have annoying nursing behaviors that sometimes make you feel resentful or annoyed with breastfeeding, but then you feel guilty for having these feelings?
- Do you often feel like you can’t say NO to baby, even though you don’t want to nurse her or you know she doesn’t really need it?
- Are you starting to worry that your baby has no other coping skills besides breastfeeding?
- Are you feeling a little trapped because you are the only one who can put your baby to bed, so you can’t ever go out during bedtime?
Time out. Right now I am going to start using the word WEAN. Don’t freak out! Weaning does not mean have to mean the end of breastfeeding. It can, but from here on out, we are going to use the word WEAN to mean CHANGE. So, think of the number one thing you would change about breastfeeding and imagine when I use the word wean I mean “not that behavior.” For example, if you don’t want your baby to wake you up to breastfeed every hour overnight, for you weaning means “my baby won’t wake me up every hour at night to nurse.” Ok. Time in. Keep on reading.
- Have you considered weaning fully or partial but you don’t know if it is “too soon?”
- Maybe you are still nursing an older toddler and you worry you are not weaning soon enough. When should you wean?
- Are you paranoid weaning will be traumatizing to your baby?
- Are you noticing that you need more time to yourself? You haven’t taken proper care of yourself spiritually, physically or emotionally since your baby was born, yet at times you feel guilty for wanting that for yourself.
Are you desperate for more sleep but feel hopeless that your baby will never stop nursing at night?
Of course you want to sleep at night, take better care of yourself and teach your baby other ways to self-soothe, but it feels like such an insurmountable feat, doesn’t it?
I bet you have tried a lot of different techniques to change your breastfeeding relationship but it always seems to just go back to the way it was before.
That’s where I come in. I have been helping women get into breastfeeding for almost a decade. I am really good at my job. I help women reach their breastfeeding goals and form a deep, lasting bond with their baby through that process.
BUT, until recently, I was getting them into this beautiful breastfeeding mess and I wasn’t helping them out.
More importantly, I personally struggled with weaning my daughter for months and I successfully achieved night weaning with no help at all and I continued to co-sleep (which was my personal goal). That was not easy.
I nursed Lucy on demand for about 2 1/2 years. I pretty much never said no. We co-slept and she nursed on and off all night. For about 2 of those 2 1/2 years, breastfeeding was great. I loved nursing 88% of the time. She had good manners, almost always signing nicely for milk instead of pulling at my shirt. When she started speaking, she would finish on one breast and ask for “udder milk” when she wanted to switch. At night, she would latch on and I would go right back to sleep. I even got to the point where she could nurse on either breast with me never rolling over… don’t be jealous. You have to have really big floppy boobs to do that trick!
But at some point between age 2 and 2 1/2, nighttime nursing became a big problem. She would pop on and off from one breast to the other. She would, as I call it “lazy latch.” Instead of actually eating, she would just hold the nipple in her mouth between her tongue and the roof of her mouth and occasionally grate her teeth across my nipple. When I would take her off she would groan uuuuuuuuh!!! And she wouldn’t shut up until I let her put my nipple back in her mouth to clamp on. I was a single mom at the time and I loved co-sleeping with my little Lucy. I want to night wean but I didn’t want to stop co-sleeping. This is a really difficult feat to accomplish, but it is possible and I did it.
I couldn’t find anything out there to help me night wean her. I read a lot of books on sleep, but most of them didn’t feel right in my mommy gut. I didn’t want to get her out of my bed. I didn’t want to have her cry it out. So, I pieced together as many tidbits as I could find and created our own personal night weaning plan.
I taught her the rules: Milk goes to sleep when the sun goes down and by no means whatsoever does milk wake up until the sun comes up. She tested this rule often. She was mad. She would wake up and say “Mom milk!” and I would ask “Oh, is the sun up?” “noooo” she would say. The first few nights, she wanted to see if I would fold…and I really was tempted to give in. But, I held firm. No amount of temper tantrums at night would wake milk up. Only the sun could do that. Eventually, she began to accept my rule as the word of God. It was written and could not be put asunder. She would wake up at night, ask for Mom Milk and I would again ask “is the sun up?” “Nooo” she would say and then creep in close for a deeper spoon instead of nursing.
Although there is a ton of information out there on starting to breastfeed, there is practically nothing out there on weaning. I decided to change all that.
I created a technique that teaches you how to change your breastfeeding relationship, no matter what your weaning goal
Here’s what Megan has to say about WG:
So, here’s the big secret…
Achieving your weaning goals is easy when you are 100% ready to wean.
Simple right? Well, not so much. Being “ready” to wean is the most important, yet the most difficult hurdle to overcome.
Here’s why: every time you think you want to wean, your worries start to surface. I call this the paranoid mother. The paranoid mother is a good mother. She helps make sure you are thinking your mothering choices through, making the best choices possible, doing nothing whatsoever to harm your child.
When you are thinking of weaning, the paranoid mother in you shrills:
Is it the right time to wean?! How will baby respond?! Will I traumatize her for life?!
This is my last baby and it is SAD that she is growing up. If you wean her, that means she isn’t a baby anymore!
How will you mother if you can’t breastfeed? I don’t think we know how to mother without breastfeeding!
What if I change my mind mid-way through? Can I abandon the whole thing or will that mess my kid up anymore?!
And the ever present paranoid mother fear:
Will (doing this or not doing this) RUIN my child forever?
I promise you that your situation is not hopeless.
Most moms who have successfully breastfed beyond 6 months or a year (woo hoo! go you!) struggle with managing their nursing relationship. They tend to believe 3 main fallacies that hold them back from making a positive change in their breastfeeding relationship
Fallacy #1: My baby will wean herself when she is ready.
Truth: Most babies do not wean themselves, or else when they would choose to naturally wean themselves (anthropology says 4-8 years old!) is not when YOU would choose to wean. There are ways to encourage a gentle and natural weaning progress, but rarely does that occur in the first two years of life. It almost never occurs in the first year of life unless a replacement to breastmilk is regularly given (like formula bottles at daycare).
Bottom line: If you are waiting for baby to wean herself, be willing to wait a long time.
Fallacy #2: There is a certain amount of time every baby should breastfeed. Alternately, there is a specific time by which every baby should be weaned.
Truth: Every baby is different and every mother is different. Every family’s life circumstances are different. True, breastfeeding for 6 months is awesome, breastfeeding for 1 year is ideal, but after that the evidence gets spotty and the opinions get stronger. The World Health Organization stands firmly by its recommendation to nurse until age two; the American Academy of Pediatrics says to breastfeed after one year as long as it is “mutually desired by mother and child.” There are still pediatricians, mother in laws and strangers that will be certain to tell you that nursing past one or two or three is unnecessary, perverse, enabling or plain bad mothering. Only YOU and YOUR BABY know when the right time is to end your breastfeeding relationship. Period.
Fallacy #3: You should or shouldn’t be ______________
Fill in the blank here. You should be offering cow’s milk, you shouldn’t be breastfeeding at night. You shouldn’t nurse in public, you shouldn’ be breastfeeding when your baby can ask for it. The list goes on and on. There is very little guidance on how to nurse an older infant or toddler and a whole lot of personal opinion and judgement.
Truth: There is no right or wrong answer. There is no should or shouldn’t. There is only what is best for you, your child and your family.
The good news is that you are no longer all on your own. I am so proud to share with you the one-of-a-kind program I created for moms just like you.
How to create an effect strategy to change or complete your breastfeeding relationship without feeling guilty, rushed or overwhelmed.
Here’s how the program works:
Weaning Gracefully is a 3 step program. Each week, you will be sent an email introducing you to the step. Throughout the week, you will get email coaching from me to keep you focused and on track.
The Weaning Gracefully Handbook full of 30+ pages of worksheet, references and strategies to set and achieve your weaning goals.
3 Mp3 audio downloads to accompanying the handbook. Listen to wherever, whenever! Initial access is for 6 weeks. Free reactivation with any change or future children!
Membership in the exclusive, private Weaning Gracefully Facebook group filled with moms at all stages of weaning and moderated by Katie. This is your community of support!
Unlimited email support and love from Katie.
UNLIMITED REACTIVATION to the Weaning Gracefully program. That means you can do this class over and over again with every change you wish to make and you can use it again for future children for free! Each request is valid for 6 weeks!
Here’s what you can expect to gain from Weaning Gracefully
- Confidence to make the right changes in breastfeeding at the right time
- Simple, practical, tools and techniques to help to partially or completely wean
- Peace that you are making the best decision for yourself and for your baby
- Return of your period if you are ready to start trying to get pregnant again
- More sleep! Nightwean even if you want to keep cosleeping!
- Fewer or no pumping at work
- Extinguished annoying behaviors at the breast- like biting, “Drive-by” nursing, opposite nipple twiddling, nursing instead of eating solids
- Have someone else be able to put your baby to bed so you can have a night out!
- Stop resenting breastfeeding and start enjoying it again
- Capture and record your breastfeeding relationship to cherish forever!
This program is for you if
- You are breastfeeding a baby who is 6 months or older.
- You are frustrated with the way breastfeeding currently is and want to make a change.
- You really need to night wean and get more sleep at night.
- You are ready to try to get pregnant again and want to get your period back.
- You want to stop or decrease pumping at work.
- You want to decrease the frequency of breastfeeding sessions during the day.
- You are ready to complete your nursing relationship but you don’t know how or you feel conflicted about this choice.
This program is not for you if
- You are breastfeeding a baby 6 months and younger and you are unwilling to feed your baby formula in place of breastmilk.
- You exclusively formula feed