You either have a fixed breastfeeding mindset, or a growth breastfeeding mindset.
Fixed Breastfeeding Mindset:
“Breastfeeding is hard today. Even if I get help, breastfeeding will always be hard, so why should I get help?”
“My baby and I just aren’t good at breastfeeding.”
“My baby doesn’t like my left breast (so why even try to offer it?)”
“I have “low-supply”
“I have “over-supply”
Classic fixed mindset statement, “If I can’t get this perfectly right immediately, I will never get it right, so what is the point? I will never get it right.”
For you, your “failure” at breastfeeding (which isn’t really a failure after all, it is simply a lesson) means you are a failure as a mother. You will be hear saying “I am a failure,” not “I failed.”
Growth Breastfeeding Mindset:
“Breastfeeding is hard today, but we are going to keep working at it until we are awesome at it.”
“The more help I get, the better I will be at breastfeeding”
“My baby and I haven’t gotten the knack of breastfeeding yet, but we’re working on it!”
“My baby seems to prefer the right breast over the left breast, so I’d better figure out how to get him to love lefty so I am not lopsided!”
“I seem to not make enough milk, but I am going to keep working toward having the best breastfeeding relationship we can have”
“I seem to make a lot of milk right now, but I know that can change over time.”
Those with a growth mindset understand that everything in life takes a lot of hard work and that once you put the hard work in, pretty much anything is possible. This is the person who doesn’t get it right at first and instead of quitting, they get more dedicated. They tend to be stubborn, driven and persistent.
Classic growth mindset statement, “I just have to keep doing this, because I know it is best for my baby and I want it so bad.”
For you, “failure” at breastfeeding is fuel to your fire. You persevere despite these setbacks and because of them you are all the more proud of your breastfeeding success when you achieve it. And you WILL achieve it, damnit.
So what type of breastfeeding mindset do you have? Fixed or growth?
I am not trying to bum you out if you have a fixed mindset. But, chances are, this isn’t the first time your fixed mindset has stood in the way of you achieving your dreams. The good news is, if you are just now realizing that you have a fixed mindset, you can learn to have a growth mindset! AND, more importantly, you can shift your mindset so that you in turn teach your child to have a growth mindset.
More simply put, teach your child that she isn’t a “good girl,” she does good work. Don’t tell her she is smart, tell her that hard work pays off. Teach her that the gifts she was born with are just a starting off point for all of her wildest dreams and wishes to come true, but it is up to her to decide just how high those gifts will grow.
So, tell me, which type of breastfeeding mindset do you have?