Breastfeeding is not black and white. There isn’t one right way and one wrong way to breastfeed your baby. In fact, parenting itself is not absolute. Striving to find concrete answers to your unique child can result in an overwhelming feeling of frustration.
Perhaps it is more helpful to consider breastfeeding in ranges rather than absolutes. Starting your thoughts with “most of the time” or “usually” leaves space for variation. So, “my baby eats every 3 hours” becomes “most of the time my baby eats about every 3 hours.” This allows for the inevitable periods of cluster feeding and growth spurts that drive the baby to nurse more often.
Moving away from absolutes also helps you to feel more confident as a parent that you are “right” about what your baby needs. If you set an absolute such as “my baby sleeps through the night” you may find yourself judging yourself or your choices that lead to your baby waking overnight. Rather, frame it as “lately, my baby has been sleeping through the night” and give yourself and your baby the grace to have normal human variation in day to day life.
Recommendations feel like absolutes, but they are not. For instance, the WHO and the AAP recommend you breastfeed for two years. You may find that breastfeeding for less or more time than that is what is right for you and your baby.
Rather than wondering, “am I doing this right?” Try out how it feels to ask yourself, “am I doing what feels right for me and my baby?”
